"because first loves can destroy people"

that's what i've heard anyways.

so unprepared like.

fall; when you wake up in the morning and your toes are freezing cold.
today was a perfect autumn day. sunny, crisp, clean, cold air. perfection.
i think today i am happy.

new is new is new.

new car smell. can that apply to a city?
a new city smell. a new city, a new apartment, a new school, a new me. i think i care less - or maybe more. shit, who cares. you broke your promise you bastard. i kind of expected it to tell the truth.
no, just right now i made a promise to myself not to write about you. so no.

new.
a fresh start. school is good. my philosophy teacher says in order to define something, sometimes it's easier to define what it's not. school is not bad - so it must be good, or at least decent. the apartment is good (it's not bad... etc). the new me? she's just new. she broke her face - yep, on the sidewalk! what a great start to a new place.
this year is just full of little bits of crap, be it sickness, or being a cripple, or parents.

new.
a fresh start. i think i want to focus on my studies this year, and just that. everything else just seems too complicated right now.

not so new.
not so much of a fresh start. dad. you make my life complicated. you just up and left when i was twelve, or maybe me and mom left. either way, somebody in this relationship failed somebody else and five bucks says it's not me. a fresh start - i'd like to try.

where did the old go?
because lets face it, i long for familiarity.
i think, sometimes, it's good to be home.